All my fault…
Me ex-boyfriend (long long ago) is blaming me for everything that went wrong in his life. Great! But here’s the fact: he quit his job, without telling me that! But it’s all me fault now…If someone understands that, pls inform me! Because I don’t get it! Maybe I can’t understand it…bcs I’m a woman. I can’t understand how men think.
Or maybe it’s bcs I’m of the most unlogical persons ever on this planet (believe me, I’m very unlogical).
Well…Let’s see what he’ll tell me the next time. Maybe it’s also me fault that the world’s in a financial crisis. Or they’re building nuclear weapons because of me. Or it’s me fault that mankind is destroying earth! Or it’s me fault that God made women? Maybe it’s even me fault that the USA selected George W. Bush for president.
We’ll see. I’m sure he’ll be as nice as usual in his next mail……I just love that! I’m the reason of everyones mistakes. Wait a minute….that can only mean, that I’m God! Aint’ I?
Btw: He wants me to support him with money. Bcs he quit his job (reminder: he didn’t tell me that til he did it). Isn’t he nice? A real prince charming…isn’t he?
Writers Block
It’s the first weekend I don’t have to study that hard (bcs it’s already done) and where I could spend some time reading or writing. But me mood for reading is below zero…and though me mood for writing is better, I can’t. I got this bloody writers block.
Actually I got lots of ideas. But not for me novel. Me novel which I started to write a few years ago. I’m stucked on this one scene. And bcs I don’t want anyone to see it before it’s finished….noone can help me (stupid I know). But I still believe it’s bad luck if someone sees it before I’ve finished. Well there’s one friend who reads it from time to time. Just to controll the language…like an editor. But he never gave me ideas. So I should overcome this block without help.
I’m sitting in this stupid big hotelroom, which I got all by myself (what for do I need a double bed and this big size bathroom?). Sitting by the window, using the hotel W-lan, my novel open on screen. No ideas. And I got this beautiful sight to the lake. But….nothing…Me mind is almost empty. I’m chatting with friends. Hoping for ideas. Nothing. Though I didn’t tell them that I got this block. But….maybe just talking will unblock me. Who knows….I don’t…
School friends
On me last blog I recieved an interesting comment. About school friends.
“Made lots of friends. Trouble is I duno where the hell they all vanished after the fancy autographs. Where did they go? Where are they now?”
Good questions. But there’s another question in me mind: What are they doing now?
Some said after finishing college or highschool that they’ll be in touch with you. But they never did. Why? Did they forget all about you? Or did they just not like to think of their past?
Some I met again on Facebook. But they were the ones I always stayed in touch myself. One was me roommate after college and best friend. And the others are friends I’d like to meet from time to time.
The other school friends…No clue where they could be, what they could do, what they did….But actually…I don’t care. Because I met new friends. Friends which will stay. Like me sister in mind. I know that she’ll never leave me. Bcs it’s a friendship for life! And that counts more than someone I heard the last time 10 years ago….
Sightseeing-Tour on Castle Wildegg
I’ve spent this day with friends on a sightseeing tour on castle Wildegg. It’s not far away from me place. Just about 20 min by car.
The sun was shining and it was just great. I love castles. Specially this one. Napoleon III spent some time in his childhood there. I guess that’s making me a bit proud…Bcs I’m living not far away. And I love everything from the napoleonian times…Including the french revolution, which didn’t stop at the french borders. It also reached Wildegg. As seen in the archives of the castle. Lots of letters. Oh and in my favorite room: the library (I found “Milton’s Lost Paradise” – first print – in a shelf…a dream).
After the tour through the castle (I’ve been the leader, bcs I know too much about that castle), we spent the rest of the afternoon in the rose garden of the castle. Gotta say, that I love the gate to the garden:
I don't know what the translation is...I used to be able to translate Latin..but...I'm getting older and more forgetable
View from Wildegg Castle
If you wanna do a virtual tour on the internet of this castle, here’s the link Castle Wildegg Bcs taking pics is actually forbidden in the castles…
Next week, we’re going to a sightseeing tour on Castle Lenzburg: Castle Lenzburg Also not that far away from my place. It even has a little dragon in its dungeons….well, a small and tiny one…called “Fauchi”…
Recording session
I’ve been recording a song with a friend. As a birthday gift to me dad (as I wrote: I’m good in persuading Mike). It was a funny day. But hard work as usual. Ye can’t record a song right away. First we had to practice it without recording and after that…We needed about 10 recordings each (we’re both perfectionists). Because we don’t wanna cut the songs together. We love to record the perfect song (hard I know but it’s possible). And we did it!
Saturday I brought the song to me dad. He loved it! As I knew in advance. Me mum didn’t talk to me much. Just said hello and bye. And that was good. Otherwise we would have had a really ugly scene. Anyway…the party was ok. Good food and good beer….Me dad bought some Guinness and Ale for me (it was good that I’ve been there by train).
Sunday I spent with sunbathing…I tried to swim. But the whiplash isn’t that friendly to me these days. So no swimming. Well not the swimming I’m used to. And when I was back at me towel…Me ex-boss was walking by. I’ve been working for more than 3 years for him. Raising his 2 boys. When he started to try to get me and when I stopped him (because I was in a relationship back then), he fired me. And I’m even not allowed to see the boys. They called me Mum. And I’m missing them very badly. So after I saw me ex-boss I took my stuff and went home. No more swimming or sunbathing mood.
A night out…
I’ve been out with friends. Celebrating me birthday at last (I know me birthday was in june, but i’ve spent it in hospital).
I didn’t know where they would take me. They just told me the time they would pick me up and told me to get dressed properly. Not too casual and not too dressy. I did as I was told (not a normal thing usually) and was ready, when they arrived (I’m not a normal woman, bcs I don’t need that much time in the bathroom).
The didn’t drive the direct way. No it was more an odyssey. But that was planned. Because I wasn’t supposed to know which restaurant. Finally we ended up at a typical swiss restaurant (google it: roestifarm.ch – the linkthingy isn’t working today)
Normally I don’t like it too swiss. But I’ve got to say it was delicious! Really it was. It’s worth a visit.
We talked, ate, drank some wine (2 bottles of red wine for 4 people) and had a dessert after that. After the coffee (typical swiss…again…but this time I love the tradition to drink an espresso after dinner), we went back home. But I wasn’t able to sleep. So I watched “Ice Age 1″ (I love to laugh) and surfed through the internet. That’s where I found a really funny video from the british “Red Nose Day 2007″. Maybe you’ll laugh like I did!
It was just a splendid, wonderful evening..Looking forward to me next birthday…
Summertime
It’s finally summer. I’m tanned (well caramel coloured – I never get tanned properly…I’m too white and too redhaired). And ye can go ot in the evening without a jacket…And even get a bit drunk isn’t that bad in summer….Well not really drunk. Just a bit more funnier than usual…..
I’ve met friends for fun. Just for fun. We met in the city. It was still hot in the evening. So we decided to cancel cinema and go for a drink. Well it wasn’t just “A” drink. It was about 5. 1 Beer (ladies beer, called “Eve”, delicious), 3 glass of red wine (I think me manners are too good, bcs I can’t leave a full glass on the table and the glass was always full…strange) and 1 Mojito. But as the scots say: Ye’re not drunk, if ye’re able to stand alone. And I was able to stand on me own feet, alone!
After that we we went home. It was around 10 pm and some of us had to go back to work the other day (but not me…jippie!). So we walked to the bus station. We weren’t drunk. We were just a bit tooooooo funny, I guess. Because we were laughing about everything. Every little thing we saw. Except the old lady with her husband. It was sweet and heartwarming to see her husband care about her so much. When they left the bus, we started to sing this old Beatles-Song: When I’m sixty-four. But in swissgerman. As we learned it at school. It’s a really nice song: Will you still care about me, when I’m old?
I admit that we were a bit melancholic after that. Will we have someone to care about us, when we’re old? Like the old lady? We don’t wanna end as old spinsters.
Well we left the bus. Not at our station, but one too early. Accidently I think. But it was good to walk the long way home. It cleared our heads. Back home I didn’t let her drive home ( I do care about me friends). So I let her sleep in my bed and I took the couch (I really got manners…wow).
This morning, the alarm clock woke me up. I forgot to turn it off (well the phone is not mine – I just borrowed it because mine didn’t survive the accident). At least the alarm tone was nice. When ye got woken up by “Wouldn’t it be nice” (Beach Boys), the day starts pretty good. Til ye open up yer windows and see the rain outside….
Nightmares
I didn’t sleep properly since wednesday. Since the accident. When I close my eyes I still can see the wall heading towards me. Can still hear the noise when the car hit the wall. The doctors told me that it would be normal. But I hate it. I wanna sleep, I need my sleep.
The doctor gave me some pills I could take for sleeping. On natural base. Maybe I’ll take them before going back to work! But it’s weekend now. I just wanna try to relax. Taking hot baths, reading books (I got some new ones), watching DVD (Blood Ties- Season 1 – which I got from a friend), and just trying to sleep.
Tomorrow a good friend will try to fix me. He’s one of my oldest friends. Maybe he can help me get rid of this nightmares. He had this kind of dreams when he had an accident. So I think he knows some ways to get rid of them.
But maybe…maybe it just needs time! Time and good friends. And lots of talks about it. I don’t know.
Fairytale
Once upon a time (not that long ago), a young woman waited patiently for her Prince Charming. He promised her, to come back for her. To take her away in his shining armour and with his white stallion. She believed him and said, she’ll be waiting.
She waited, as she promised. For a long time. Always alone. Then one day, he returned. So she thought. But it wasn’t really him. He changed. Turned into his Mr Hyde. She thought, she would face Prince Charming. But it was Prince Evil. First he promised her heaven on earth. He promised her to be with her for eternity, to love and cherish her.
A few years, his lies worked. She still believed him. But then…she found out. Saw him with another woman. Angry and sad she asked him about this other woman. He told her, that he’s living with her now, that they got a kid. Her world fell apart and she sent him away.
Lonely and depressed she was now. Sitting in her room alone again, when he called. He told her, that he can’t live without her. That he will change. Back to Prince Charming. She tried to believe him, took him back.
And he did it again. Cheated on her with the same woman as before. She found out again and dumped him again. Broken hearted she was now.
And she’s still! Maybe there’s a real Prince Charming waiting for her! I do hope so! Bcs she really deserves it!
